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The cat had its own
​Christmas tradition

I was too young to own an ugly Christmas sweater.

I lived under the threat of getting one as a gift, but I refused to let that ruin Christmas. 

My father had grown up in a large family during tough times financially. As Christmas time neared, he’d remind me of the Christmas he was surprised when his gifts were a wooden pencil and an orange. He was pleasantly surprised because he didn’t expect any gifts that year.

He’d become accustomed to not having much money. This was evident when it came time to buy a Christmas tree. We weren’t searching for the perfect tree. We were searching for the remaining tree. We’d drive by tree lots until we found one that had but one tree left. My father reasoned that the fellow working there would be anxious to unload his last tree so he could go home. It would be on sale. It was a patient man’s game, but the prey was finally located.

I walked with my father to the lot. I tried looking even more pitiful than usual in the hopes it’d reduce the cost. The man seemed optimistic, likely happy to see another living thing after spending so much time with a dead tree. Dad and the man dickered over the price. Dad won because it was his money. The rescue tree was the worst he’d ever bought. It had a few needles remaining, but they were nearly as rare as neckties on toads.

The tree was driven home, lashed to the roof of the Pontiac. This caused even the most stubborn of the needles still clutching to the tree to fall off.

The poor excuse for a tree was carried into the house. A red and green metal tree stand was fetched from the attic. The tree was clamped into that device and, even though it was beyond ever drinking again, water was provided.

I looked at the tree. It was a sad plant. It looked as if it had just struck out with the bases loaded.

This would be the worst Christmas ever, I had no doubt.

Another trip to the attic brought a couple of cardboard boxes of Christmas decorations. Each box had “Christmas” written on it. My mother was in charge of decorating the tree. It was tradition. It’s good to have traditions. My father’s job was to get the multi-colored Christmas tree lights to work. It was tradition. It was an onerous task that would have reduced a lesser man to tears.

My mother trimmed the tree with tinsel and cockeyed optimism. I said it looked as if someone had sneezed on the tree. I laughed uproariously at my world-class witticism as my mother worked to keep her frown from turning into a smile. She succeeded. Icicles followed the tinsel, and then the ornaments were hung on the boughs lacking needles. There was a slight variation on theme from one Christmas to the next as the casualty rate among fragile ornaments was high. The ornaments were like our dinner plates — no two were the same.

My mother took her time in finding the perfect location for each ornament. Each came with a story. She told what each represented, the origin of the ornament and whom it reminded her of. The stories changed with the ornaments and my mother’s memories. The declarations were more important than the decorations. The dog alternated her time between glaring suspiciously at the cat (the dog and the cat took pleasure in annoying one another) and wagging her tail appreciatively when she had the notion. She slid off into a nap. The cat sat contentedly in an empty box. The feline believed in living in the present. I listened intently to my mother’s stories. They were stories of my family, my history, my beginnings. The stories grabbed me. My family tree had become a discount Christmas tree made pretty. 

The sparse foliage gave happiness room to dance among the branches. Ornaments may have been hung from the tree, but what dangled in their places were precious memories. 

By the time Mom put the star on the top of that tree, a miracle had happened. That poor, pathetic excuse for an evergreen had been transformed into the most beautiful Christmas tree in the world. Everything had become remarkable. Angels come in many forms.

It wasn’t going to be the worst Christmas ever.

Even after a curious, climbing cat tipped the tree over at 2 in the morning.

I realized the cat had his traditions, too.

​© Al Batt 2019

Your Mom was a Little “Hot Dog”
​at Age Two!

Maury, your Mom gave Grandpa a great card for Father’s day which involved a song I used to sing to her when putting her to bed about age two. This reminded me, a short time afterwards, of another song popular at the same time because of what happened when she was about two when your Grandma and I took her to Sunday Mass at Nativity in Dubuque. This would be about 1956 when a very popular song was published called “Love and Marriage” which your Mom would hear me sing around the house, etc. I must have sung it often enough so that she picked up most the words because here’s what happened.

As I mentioned above, your Grandma and I took your Mom to church that Sunday when she became a bit bored and I recall giving her a rosary thinking this might catch her interest. About that time, the priest started his sermon and happened to use the phrase “love and marriage” which your Mom immediately recognized! At that moment two things happened, I believe to this day, which caused her “hotdog” reaction: (1) She started swinging the rosary and singing “Love and Marriage” and (2) people right behind us and in pews nearby spontaneously started laughing. For a two year old, she immediately enjoyed basking in all the attention she received and became an immediate “entertainer!”

Maury, you, your Mom, and Dad know that Grandpa’s philosophy relative to “hot dogs” is that there are good ones and bad ones. Recently, your Mom referred to you in this respect by saying, “I wonder where he got that from!” Grandpa immediately took that as a compliment! I also felt much the same way about your Mom that Sunday in church!

​Much love, Grandpa

1. Tony La Russa is No. 1 on the St. Louis Cardinals’ list of managerial victories (1,408). Who is No. 2?

2. Name the only San Diego Padre to belt 50 or more home runs in a season.

3. When was the last time before the 2018 season that the University of Texas football team won 10 or more games in a season?

4. Name the last time before 2017-18 that the Boston Celtics made the NBA Eastern Conference Finals in consecutive years.

5. Who was the last NHL goaltender to win the Vezina Trophy (top regular-season goalie) in consecutive seasons?

6. Name the last French-born cyclist to win the Tour de France.

​7. Phil Mickelson is one of two golfers who have won three of the four men’s majors at least once, but have never won the U.S. Open. Who is the other?

1. Red Schoendienst, with 1,041 wins (1965-76, ‘80, ‘90).

2. Greg Vaughn hit 50 in 1998.

3. It was the 2009 season, when the Longhorns were 13-1.

4. It was 1987-88.

5. New Jersey’s Martin Brodeur, in 2007 and 2008.

6. Bernard Hinault, in 1985.

​7. Sam Snead.

© 2019 King Features Synd., Inc.

Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz likes to say, “for every win after six, the bowl bus keeps heading further south to warmer climes!” The Hawkeyes’ win over Minnesota, a top ten ranked opponent, caught the eye of bowl scouts everywhere and the jockeying for fan bases is on. With out over stating the obvious, Iowa is an attractive team historically and their fans travel in droves. Families plan their annual vacation around a Hawkeye bowl trip. With games yet to come against Illinois and Nebraska, where Iowa winters  in December/January is far from decided. The Holiday Bowl in San Diego December 27th has Iowa and Washington as a possible match up. The Red Box in San Francisco is in play December 30th. The Gator and Citrus are potential Florida destinations. 

There’s much to be decided the next three weeks before you call your travel agency. For the Hawkeyes the only thing that matters is beating the Illini in Kinnick stadium on senior day and take care of business in Lincoln against Nebraska. 9-3 is a lot more attractive than 7-5. With an emerging offense and nationally ranked defense, the Hawks are in a good position to finish strong and wait for the dominoes to fall.

It was Military Appreciation weekend and the Hawkeyes honored the memory of Dubuque’s Mike Reilly, a member of the all century team and one of Senior High School’s all time great athletes. Affectionately known as “Hammer” and “Charlie Linebacker,” Reilly, who passed away in October, was represented by his three sons, Steve, Jim and Bob. They too attended and participated in football and golf at Iowa.

​As the football regular season winds down, Iowa basketball is revving up. More on that next month. In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving.

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