Sports

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Three years have gone by
​like 1,095 days

I looked for signs in my wife’s burnt toast at 4 a.m., but was unable to discern any. 

I couldn’t enjoy a slice of toast disguised as peanut butter as I was fasting as required by a clinical trial appointment.

Three years ago, just when I’d reached a comfortable cruising altitude, I was diagnosed with cancer. That concentrates the mind. Sometimes, it seems as if the majority of the people I know have or have had cancer. It’s a case of what psychologists call the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon or frequency illusion. You’ve experienced it when you bought a car. Your brain takes note of your new car and alerts you when it sees another like it. This confirmation bias affirms that your car is suddenly ubiquitous, when it was around long before you noticed it so often.

No one’s high school graduating class votes a member as most likely to get cancer. I’ve heard most things get better by themselves. Cancer isn’t one of those things. Medical professionals warned me I’d have difficult days ahead. They couldn’t leave well enough alone as I wasn’t well enough to leave alone. Molly Ivins said that having cancer was massive amounts of no fun. Cancer cured me of ever judging anyone in a waiting room. I had surgeries, a few hospital stays and abundant chemotherapy. Most of us get our medical education the hard way. The surgeon was a serious fellow. His job wasn’t to keep people in stitches. His job was to keep stitches in people. On a good day, I felt like an old bruise that had become a piñata. I became skin and bones and a walking stick, but I set no records. Many of you have had it much worse. 

I had insurance, but as I walked in a gown, I discovered I wasn’t fully covered. Hospitals are better at covering their own behinds than covering those of their patients. I learned one thing you don’t want to hear in a hospital is, “The gown is supposed to open in the back.”

I found strength in the words of Samuel Beckett, “You must go on. I can’t go on. I’ll go on.”

Family, friends, nature, books and writing filled the space where worry wanted to live. The thickness of those relationships helped. Each day, I wrote about the things I was excited about. I filled countless pages and I left out a lot.

A well-meaning man told me, “You have cancer? You’ll want to be careful with that.” A nice woman gave me a St. Peregrine coin. St. Peregrine is the patron saint of those suffering from cancer. I picked up another one at the Steele County Free Fair. I carry one always. 

Every six months, I head to the Mayo Clinic for an action-packed day of testing. I become a hermit crab carrying a shell that is my health insurance card.

Trained professionals surveyed all my subdivisions. “Right up my alley” took on a new meaning. I told them to be gentle searching for my inner beauty as I’m a screamer.

On my last clinic visit, I knew some of the medical professionals and someone who runs an art gallery there, but other than that, I encountered no one I knew. That was a blessing. I’m happy to see familiar faces, but it’s nice not seeing them in the cancer treatment area.

I did TV shows for several years; now I watch myself on the clinic monitors as tests are done. My insides flashed by the camera — an adventure series, I guessed. A sister-in-law said the video caught my best side.

There is no end zone celebration dance yet. I practice Tapleyism when dealing with medical problems. It was named after Mark Tapley, a character in Charles Dickens’s “Martin Chuzzlewit” who was extremely optimistic. When I had a tough day, I counted my blessings often. Some folks keep a blessing jar. Whenever they recognize a blessing throughout the year, they write it on a piece of paper and stick it in the jar. They dump the jar out at the year’s conclusion and read them. I can’t do that. I’d fill a jar daily. Thornton Wilder wrote, “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” I couldn’t have made it without my wife.

We are all broken. I wish you all good things and know that just as flowers grow back after being stepped on, so will you.

I hope you are going great guns.

© Al Batt 2019

Memory 99
​ Chet Hayes Taught Me
a Great Lesson!

A few days ago, Maury, the subject of Major League umpires came up with my friends at our Alverno lunch table. This discussion reminded me of a great local umpire, Chet Hayes, whom our ball club hired to ump behind the plate. He was very competent, experienced and earned the players’ respect, etc. It also reminded me of an incident involving Chet one night when I was in the batter’s box and was taught a great lesson! Maury, this is what happened:

There was a full count on me (3 – 2) when the next pitch (I thought) just missed the outside corner. Dropping my bat I started for 1st base while at the same time Chet called the pitch a “Strike”! (Here’s, Maury, where Grandpa’s not very proud at what he said and the lesson begins, not ending, until the next day)! I’ll explain:

I said: “Why don’t you get a tin cup, put on dark glasses and stand on the corner of 8th & Main!” Chet immediately pulled out his stop watch and all he said to me was “Abe, IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN IN THIS BALL GAME you have exactly three seconds to turn around and head for your dugout! I took his advice and immediately did so! The next day, Chet, who was a cab driver for Black & White Cab Co. happened to meet me as I was headed for lunch and immediately cheerfully greeted me as if “last night at the ball park” never happened! There were two things I admired about Chet from that moment on:

1. What happens on the field stays on the field.

​2. His using a stop watch allowed me to choose staying in the game or not!

Today, too many Big League umpires, arrogantly, throw a player out of a game immediately. Fans go to ball games to watch the players – not umpires! Doug Harvey is one of only nine umpires in the Baseball Hall of Fame. He was a Major League umpire for three decades and did not throw ONE player out of a game!

Much love, Grandpa

1. Who was the first major-league player to hit a pair of home runs in an All-Star Game?

2. Name the last of the six major-league teams that longtime skipper (1967-88) Dick Williams managed.

3. Can you name two of the first three quarterbacks in SEC history to have at least 35 passing and 35 rushing touchdowns during their career?

4. LeBron James played in eight consecutive NBA Finals (2011-18). Name two of the three players who played in more.

5. An American has been drafted No. 1 overall eight times in the history of the NHL Entry Draft. How many of them were selected between 2000 and 2019?

6. Who was the last Cup driver before Chase Elliott in 2018-19 to win back-to-back races at Watkins Glen?

​7. Who was the last female tennis player younger than Coco Gauff in 2019 (15 years old) to win her first WTA tournament?

1. Pittsburgh’s Arky Vaughn, in 1941.

2. The Seattle Mariners, in 1988.

3. Tim Tebow, Dak Prescott and Nick Fitzgerald. 

4. Bill Russell (10 consecutive), Sam Jones (nine) and Tom Heinsohn (nine).

5. Five.

6. Marcos Ambrose, in 2011-12.

7. The Czech Republic’s Nicole Vaidisova, who was a younger 15 when she won in 2004.

© 2019 King Features Synd., Inc.

Iowa basketball has certainly had a productive stretch, as they shut down the schedule for a week’s worth of final semester exams. The Hawkeye women are 8-2, post Meghan Gustafson, after an impressive win at Iowa State. Monica Czinano has taken over the center position with authority. The 6’3” sophomore from Watertown, MN. has stepped right in the void left by the consensus All-American Gustafson and has held her own. The Iowa guards as expected lead the way with seniors Kathleen Doyle and McKenzie Meyer providing that valuable leadership a young roster needs. Czinano, Meyer and Doyle all average 15 points.

The Hawkeye men followed suit with a spectacular effort at both ends of the floor of Hilton Coliseum, scoring 18 of the first 22 points, rolled to a 15 point halftime lead and won 84-68. National player of the week Luka Garza continued his masterful work inside scoring 21 points while grabbing 11 rebounds, Garza’s 6th double-double of the young season. The Hawks made 18-20 free throws and flustered the Cyclones with a combination of man-to-man and zone defenses. Guard/forward Joe Weiskamp has rediscovered his shooting touch after battling the flu for a week. Weiskamp knocked down 23 in a win over Minnesota, making 5 three point goals, then followed up with a 13 point, 8 rebound effort against the Cyclones. Iowa is 8-3 at finals break with Cincinnati up next on December 21st in Chicago at the United Center. The Hawkeye’s three losses are to teams with a combined record of 24-6.

Iowa football heads west this weekend for the December 27th Holiday Bowl with the University of Southern California, one of the games blue blood programs. USC claims eleven national championships and a half dozen Heisman trophy winners. This years team is 8-4 and beat south division champ Utah. Iowa is 9-3, its defeats coming to Michigan, Penn State and Wisconsin by a combined fourteen points.

USC throws the football all over the field. Freshman quarterback Kedon Slovis has completed 260-372 passes for an incredible 71% completion ratio with 28 touchdowns and 9 interceptions. Receiver Michael Pittman has 95 catches and 11 touchdowns. 

I’m confident the Iowa defense will do its job. The offense needs to run the football and control time of possession. In other words, play Iowa football.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all the wonderful readers of The Golden View. May 2020 bring you all you hope and wish for.

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